HAPPINESS VS. JOY
Dr. Debi Gilmore LMFT
What's the difference between happiness and joy?
Have you ever heard someone say, “I just want to be happy.” Maybe at times you have found yourself longing for happiness. We don’t normally say, “I just want joy. I wish I could find joy.” In this sense, it appears there is a contrast, or a distinct difference between the two emotional states. What's the difference between happiness and joy? Do these terms carry the same meaning? They are often used interchangeably, but when defined, you will see they are distinctly different. Happiness technically refers to the pleasurable feelings (emotions) that result from a situation, experience, or objects, whereas joy is a state of mind that can be found even in times of grief or uncertainty. This means, we can work on cultivating joy regardless of our circumstances. For example, a lottery winner will experience short-term happiness, but when someone is immersed in meaningful activities creating new memories, they are more likely to experience long-term joy.
Let’s look a little deeper into the differences and nuances of happiness vs. joy. Happiness is a wonderful state of being, and certainly something we all long for and strive to attain. It is often linked to external circumstances, and can be triggered by positive events, such as receiving good news, achieving a goal, or enjoying a pleasurable experience. The moments when we pause to recognize the goodness in our lives and feel gratitude for those things bring happiness and hope.
However, happiness can also be fleeting as it often depends on circumstances and the depth of our awareness of certain situations. Once the external trigger is gone, the feeling of happiness may lessen or fade. Happiness can be a deep feeling, but it can also be more surface-level, responding to our immediate environment and external factors.
Joy is less reliant upon external circumstances and is more of an internal, deep-seated state of being. It doesn’t rely as heavily on external circumstances and can be felt even in challenging situations. Joy also is enduring and tends to be more lasting because it is rooted in a sense of peace, contentment, or spiritual fulfillment, rather than momentary pleasure. Joy can also be defined as a profound feeling, and is often associated with a deeper sense of well-being or spiritual connection. It can coexist with other emotions, like sadness or hardship, because it comes from within.
In essence, happiness is a reaction to external events, while joy is a more enduring, internal feeling that can sustain you through life's ups and downs. Yes, joy can be felt even amid our own suffering or when we witness the suffering and heartache of those we care about. Sometimes we hear someone who has experienced a tremendous loss say, “I know it doesn’t make sense but, I actually feel peace right now.” This state of peaceful joy is founded on a spiritual strength, and a larger, deeper perspective of the world and the purpose of life.
How do you increase joy?
During difficult times, it becomes twice as important to modify your routine, allowing yourself to experience joy. Here are some ideas, although it may take some trial and error to find what works best for you:
PHYSICAL ACTIVITY: Perform some form of regular aerobic physical activity. Think of physical activity as releasing a bubble bath of neurotransmitters — and their effects linger long after the exercise is over.
SERVICE: Dedicate yourself to lifting and building others. Activities such as volunteering produce greater joy than focusing on oneself. In the act of reaching out and serving others, research has found that our brains signal the release of feel good hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Each of these hormones cause our bodies to relax, our mind to ease, and our thoughts to focus on the joy of lifting another’s burdens.
SPIRITUALITY: Connect with your spiritual side. When we join with something larger than ourselves, we develop feelings of gratitude, compassion, and peace. Mindfulness and meditation are powerful ways to modify brain pathways to increase joy.
LEARN: Discover something new. As humans, we are hard-wired to experience joy when experiencing novelty. Developing a new pursuit can help us refocus our energy.
Give yourself permission to take a few moments of pleasure, especially when you are feeling low.
GRATITUDE: Pay attention to the good. A joyous mindset can be developed but takes practice. At the start of each day, identify three good things that are a part of your life that day. This exercise helps you keep an eye out for the positives during the day, which serves to increase your awareness of the goodness around you.
LIMIT NEGATIVITY: Whether it's a coworker who tends to gossip, a tense or toxic relationship with a family member, or a friend who stays stuck and struggles to see the good in the world, spending time around a negative mindset influences us directly. It is important to identify boundaries and set limits.
SEEK MEDICAL ADVICE: Ask your doctor about whether your medications can affect your ability to experience pleasure, especially if you are taking antidepressants. Every medication you take impacts your brain and the way your body functions. Do not stop taking your medications, but your doctor can determine what combination of your medications is best for your overall well-being.
Step Outside: Take a moment to enjoy the fresh air, feel the warmth of the sun, or listen to the sounds of nature. Even a short walk can be refreshing.
Connect with Someone: Reach out to a friend or family member. A short conversation, a laugh, or even a text can brighten your day. Studies show disconnection can lead to depression and anxiety, and social isolation can significantly decrease overall well-being.
DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE: Spend a little time on a hobby or activity you enjoy. Whether it’s reading, cooking, gardening, or listening to music, indulge in something that makes you happy.
TREAT YOURSELF: Enjoy a favorite snack or grab a smoothie with a friend. Savoring something you love can bring a moment of joy.
As you seek to reinforce and cultivate more joy in your life, you might have some fun with NPR’s Joy Generator. It is a tool with multiple prompts that offer ideas as to how to slow down and truly cherish the present.
NPR’S JOY GENERATOR: https://apps.npr.org/joy-generator/#story=intro&page=0
