TRADITIONS KEEP FAMILIES CLOSE
Dr. Debi Gilmore LMFT
During the holidays when Christmas season is in full swing a spirit of excitement fills the air and people begin to seek ways to gather and celebrate. Many families gather their loved ones to participate in traditions to build new memories… traditions that have been passed down through the decades. Studies show that traditions play a significant role in keeping families close by creating consistent, shared experiences that connect generations.
Let’s explore how traditions work their magic:
Shared Memories: Traditions build shared memories, which become cherished family stories that everyone looks back on. These shared experiences, whether they’re big celebrations or small rituals, help create a unique family identity. Family identity is significant in shaping who we are, how we see ourselves, and how we interact with the world. This identity often encompasses shared values, traditions, beliefs, and even a sense of purpose that binds family members together.
Sense of Belonging: Knowing that these rituals are part of “who we are” as a family gives each person a sense of belonging. Traditions make each family member feel connected to the others, even if they live far away or see each other less often. Building a sense of belonging within a family takes time and intentional effort, but it’s incredibly rewarding.
Comfort in Routine: Traditions offer predictability, which can be comforting in a constantly changing world. No matter what happens, having those familiar family traditions brings a sense of security, giving everyone something to look forward to. It can be especially comforting to reflect on traditions celebrated together, and reminisce about the moments of togetherness, or laughing about the humorous mishaps amid the celebration.
Passing Down Values: Many family traditions are tied to cultural, religious, or personal values. Practicing these traditions regularly keeps those values alive, and they naturally get passed down to younger generations. Family values are incredibly important because they shape how we approach life, relationships, and even our sense of self. These values are essentially the core beliefs and principles passed down or developed within a family unit, providing a framework for what we consider right or wrong, fair, loving, and supportive.
Encouraging Togetherness: Traditions often encourage everyone to gather, even when life gets busy. This consistent time together gives family members a chance to catch up, share what’s new, and reconnect. Encouraging togetherness in a family involves creating an environment where everyone feels valued, connected, and supported. Whether it’s a weekly game night, Sunday brunch, or an annual camping trip, traditions create shared experiences and memories that bring family members closer.
Celebrating and Supporting: Traditions can mark milestones, accomplishments, or even tough times. Whether it’s celebrating birthdays, sharing a meal, or supporting each other through challenges, these moments remind family members they are there for each other. For kids and teens, family celebrations offer a foundation for self-esteem, showing them that their achievements are noticed and valued. For adults, celebrating together can also be a great reminder of collective support, helping everyone feel a little less alone in their ups and downs. These moments can also be a great time to reconnect, especially when life gets busy. It’s a way to slow down, enjoy each other’s company, and appreciate the journey as a family.
Do you have any favorite traditions in your family? Maybe you haven’t incorporated traditions in your life. Starting traditions can be a rewarding journey, especially if you’re open to making them your own.
If you have slipped in your focus on family traditions, consider one or two that you can bring back. Take some time to reflect on the traditions you’re considering and explore why they resonate with you. Ask yourself how these traditions can add value to your life and your relationships with loved ones. Maybe consider how they align with your goals, beliefs, or sense of identity. This personal connection can make following traditions feel more authentic and rewarding.
If you are wanting to bring a tradition back into your life, plan how you will resurrect the tradition and then talk about it with your loved ones so they can help recreate the experience and incorporate it into their schedule. Sharing traditions with others can bring a sense of community and accountability. You might invite friends and loved ones outside your family to join you. Seeing others’ excitement or commitment can help motivate you as well.
Instead of committing to a big tradition all at once, try incorporating small, manageable elements into your routine. This gradual approach makes it easier to build a habit and keeps things from feeling overwhelming.
After following a tradition, reflect on how it made you feel. Did it bring you joy, a sense of peace, or connection? Noticing the positive effects can reinforce your motivation to keep going, and reflecting on the experience will help you enhance the ways you incorporate the tradition for next time.
