So, your invitation has arrived. Your family reunion is happening late this summer. Your first reaction is, “No! I can’t survive another one of those with unbelievably angry Uncle ______ and/or critical and judgmental Cousin ______.” You feel terrified about the idea of attending because of painful past experiences. You could just ignore the invitation and not attend, but you also know that if you don’t go it might cause even greater rifts and unrest in other family members.

Do you feel guilty or shameful in those moments when you strongly disagree with your spouse’s opinions on something? Do you find yourself wanting to shy away from your own opinion for fear you will seem controlling or inflexible? You are not alone. So often couples ask me how to handle situations in which both partners strongly disagree. “If I see things dramatically different, am I the contentious one?” or “If I disagree with him, am I being disrespectful and argumentative?”