FINDING PERSONAL MOTIVATION

Dr. Debi Gilmore LMFT

Do you find yourself struggling to find motivation to complete challenging tasks? Maybe you look at your daily to-do list and your eyes glaze over as you contemplate how to find the energy to even begin. The danger is that procrastination leads to discouragement and overwhelm as your list of to-do’s grows. This lack of motivation becomes a block to re-commitment and becomes a negative cycle of personal paralysis and discouragement.  

Solid research has been done on how to stimulate and motivate people to identify and attack challenging tasks, and at the top of the list of what seems to work is the importance of goal setting. For example, when salespeople have targets, they close more deals, and when individuals make daily exercise commitments, they’re more likely to increase their fitness levels. More general ambitions—such as “I will do my best”—are usually much less effective than something concrete, such as bringing in 10 new customers a month or walking 10,000 steps a day. Therefore, the first step is to set specific and measurable goals as a part of your short- and long-term plan.

It is also important to select goals that trigger an internal desire to achieve whatever task is on your list. If the motivation is to please someone else, your motivation will crumble when the task becomes more challenging. However, if an activity is intrinsically motivated it is seen as beneficial and fulfilling. If it extrinsically motivated to please someone else, such as earning you a reward or a way to avoid punishment, fulfillment and motivation become fleeting. In other words, personal and internal motivation predicts achievement and success better than external motivation.

Internal motivation should not be confused with selfishness. Actually, the hope is that we will begin to feel fulfilled when we see our service to others bring them joy and fulfillment. This then becomes even more motivating to continue to serve others as the reciprocal joy is much more energizing and fulfilling than self-serving activities. This is consistent with what is called the “helper’s high” we experience when completing service-oriented tasks. The feel-good chemicals released in our bodies such as oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine are prompted by reaching out and lifting others in selfless service.

Staying motivated every day can be challenging, but there are several strategies you can use to maintain a positive and driven mindset:

Set Clear Goals: Define what you want to achieve, both short-term and long-term. Some questions you can ask yourself to identify goals would be:

            “What do I want my life to be like 6 months from now?”

            “What simple, but achievable healthy habit can I incorporate that will change my life?”

            “Who needs my help today, and what can I do to lift someone else’s burden?”

“What activities bring me joy?”

            “What skill or hobby do I wish to learn, or teach to someone else?”

            “What topic do I want to study and learn more about?”

Having clear, achievable goals gives you direction and purpose, and these questions will steer you in that direction.

Break It Down: Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This makes them less overwhelming and gives you a sense of accomplishment as you complete each step. This also prevents procrastination, which exacerbates anxiety and creates more stress than if you dove in and conquered the task early.

Partner with a Friend: Share your goals with friends or join groups with similar interests. Support and accountability from others can boost your motivation. Identify a trusted friend or loved one and consider setting a goal to achieve together. This partnership and quest becomes more motivating and exciting because you are inspired by each other’s trips and falls, or achievements and victories.

Create a Routine: Establishing a daily routine can help you stay organized and focused. Incorporate habits that energize you, like exercise, meditation, or reading. Remember, the process of creating a habit takes at least 21 days before it is wired in our brain. Your goal should be to create such a strong and healthy habit that if you didn’t perform that routine you would miss it.

Stay Positive: Surround yourself with positivity, whether through inspiring quotes, uplifting music, or encouraging people. Focus on the progress you’ve made rather than setbacks. When a negative thought appears, find the antithesis to the thought. For example:

            Negative Thought: “This is just too hard for me.”

Positive Thought: “This is hard, but I will take it slow and keep my expectations at an appropriate level.”

Visualize Success: Spend a few minutes each day visualizing your goals and the feeling of achieving them. This can boost your motivation and reinforce your commitment. As you visualize the success, notice how you feel emotionally and physically. Take note of this uplifting feeling, memorize the feeling, and try to remind yourself of this feeling when the going gets tough.

Stay Flexible: Be open to adapting your plans if needed. Flexibility helps you stay resilient and maintain motivation even when things don’t go as planned. Another aspect of flexibility is the courage it takes to allow for change and shifts in the process. This cultivates the ability to cooperate, collaborate, and negotiate with self and others.

Reward Yourself: Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Rewards can be a powerful motivator and make the journey more enjoyable. Humans are naturally motivated by rewards, so don’t assume rewards are unnecessary. Rewards are a form of celebration, and mark the moment of success with a rush of positive emotion.

Track Your Progress: Keep a journal or use apps to track your progress. Seeing how far you’ve come can be incredibly motivating, and it becomes a motivation for future setbacks when you can review progress you have historically experienced. You are more likely to get back on track and keep going.

Stay Healthy: Take care of your physical and mental well-being. Exercise regularly, eat nutritious foods, and get enough sleep to maintain your energy levels. In your quest to find physical and mental health, remember that for every healthy habit you incorporate, you are extending your life by months and possibly years.

Keep Learning: Engage in activities that stimulate your mind and keep you curious. Continuous learning can inspire new ideas and enthusiasm, and prepares you to carry on more stimulating conversations when with others. Choose one book to read and set the pace so you commit to reading a certain amount per day. Commit to sharing something you learned with someone else on a regular basis. Remember, teaching is a catalyst for learning for the instructor as well as the student.

Remember, it’s natural to have days when motivation wanes. Be kind to yourself and recognize that persistence and consistency are key.