Virtual Relationships = Counterfeit Connections
Dr. Debi Gilmore LMFT
The emergence of Artificial Intelligence (AI) has brought tremendous benefits to the world of technology. However, AI romantic companion apps are growing and are being used much more than most people might believe – particularly among young adults. People can now create their own virtual relationship using all the ideal criteria they dream of with the intent to ultimately have the perfect companion.
A virtual relationship is a connection between people that develops and exists primarily through digital or online communication rather than in face-to-face settings. These relationships can be friendships, romantic connections, mentorships, or professional networks, and they rely on tools such as: social media platforms; messaging apps; online communities/forums; Dating apps; and Virtual worlds/games.
Virtual relationships—whether friendships, romantic connections, or professional bonds built primarily online—can be meaningful, but they also come with risks. Here are some of the main dangers:
Misrepresentation and deception: People can easily present a false version of themselves through catfishing (creating a false identity online), altered photos, fake personas). Without face-to-face cues, it’s harder to verify honesty and authenticity.
Lack of depth and realism: Conversations typically remain shallow, filtered, or idealized. Virtual interactions often miss nonverbal communication (tone, facial expressions, body language), which can lead to misunderstandings.
Emotional risks: It’s easier to over-invest emotionally without really knowing the other person. Virtual bonds can create a false sense of intimacy, which might not translate into real-world connection. Also, when we are only receiving positive interactions, we aren’t stretching, risking, and growing emotionally due to the ease of no resistance. Emotional growth occurs within disappointment, loss, tension and repair of relationships.
Safety concerns: Sharing personal information online can lead to identity theft, scams, or stalking. Meeting someone in person after knowing them virtually carries risks if safety measures aren’t taken.
Dependency and isolation: Relying too heavily on virtual relationships may limit real-life social skills and in-person interactions. It can create social isolation, where someone feels connected online but lonely in their physical life.
Unrealistic expectations: People often curate the “best” version of themselves online, which can set up disappointment if the relationship shifts offline. This type of social presentation requires us to live dual lives: our public persona, and our private persona. This creates internal turmoil, and a sense of fragmentation. Conflicts are easier to avoid virtually, which can make it harder to navigate real-world disagreements.
Impact on Mental Health
Virtual relationships can negatively impact mental health and well-being. Rejection or ghosting in virtual spaces can feel just as painful as in-person but often lacks closure. Constant online availability can blur boundaries, leading to burnout or unhealthy attachment. The following is the results of a study done by the Wheatley Institute, released in Spring 2025.
Emotional / Mental Health Correlations
1. Use of AI romantic or companion apps is associated with higher risks of depression and loneliness. For example, over half of men who use AI platforms for romantic or sexual purposes reported being at risk for depression, compared to lower rates among men who do not use them. Similar trends held for loneliness.
2. Among women users, more than 60% who use these AI platforms reported risk for depression; over half reported high levels of loneliness—significantly above those who don’t use such tools.
3. Potential Impacts on Relationship Culture & Human Connection
4. The study suggests these AI technologies may shift expectations about relationships, potentially making people less satisfied with “real-life” human relationships.
5. It sees risks for loneliness, declining dating activity, and delays or decreases in forming families as potential downstream consequences.
AI in general, and specifically virtual relationships aren’t inherently bad—they can be supportive, especially across distance—but they require boundaries, skepticism, and balance with in-person connections. As more studies are done, the hope is that we will learn how to balance and benefit from the use of this new technology.
References
Willoughby, B. J., Carroll, J. S., Dover, C. R., & Hakala, R. H. (2025). Counterfeit Connections: The rise of romantic AI companions and AI sexualized media among the rising generation. Wheatley Institute. https://wheatley.byu.edu/Counterfeit-Connections-AI-Romantic-Companions
