Self-Worth and Embracing Our Divine Identity
Dr. Debi Gilmore, LMFT
In the past, I have written and discussed extensively about my struggle with the term self-esteem. It’s too internally focused. This is not to suggest that an internal focus is bad or unhealthy. Rather, it’s that the term esteem falls short of embracing the uniqueness of our spiritual self.
There’s a distinct difference between self-esteem and self-worth. ‘Esteem’ describes how we value and perceive ourselves and stops there. If we focus only on enhancing or strengthening our self-esteem, it reinforces individualism, not interdependence. It does not sufficiently assist us in embracing our personal worth and the importance of human connection.
Some describe self-esteem as a combination of several emotions: personal and interpersonal security; a sense of belonging and purpose; feeling capable; trust for others and feeling trusted; a sense of contribution to society; a power of being able to influence others. Each of these characteristics or traits of self-esteem are noble, but none of them describe the value, purpose, and destiny of an individual’s intrinsic and eternal value.
Attempts to provide a working definition of self-esteem tend to describe three types:
A personal sense of uniqueness
A sense of others’ approval
An individual sense of superiority
I am intrigued by the first type, a bit worried about the second type, and not significantly impressed by the third type. When I refer to self-esteem throughout this book, it’s according to information derived from studies using this term.
After reading through so many of these descriptions of self-esteem, I have found myself longing for at least some of them to include the term worth. Self-worth refers to not just our value as human beings in our present moment, but also refers to our potential to refine those parts of us which hold us back from fulfilling the measure of our creation.
The suggestion that we can ‘measure’ our worth can be confusing, particularly for those who feel lost due to the harsh voice of their Inner Critic. Some feel so hopeless that even reaching out to God seems pointless, and the invitation to do so only creates a deeper sense of isolation. President Russell M. Nelson has taught:
Make no mistake about it: Your potential is divine. With your diligent seeking, God will give you glimpses of who you may become. As you embrace these truths, our Heavenly Father will help you reach your ultimate goal of living eternally in His holy presence.
Self-worth describes a more complete understanding of the process of eternal progression. When we capture glimpses of our true self in this life and uncover the reality of our divine heritage and destiny, we can experience a surge of new energy and motivation to do hard things. However, this requires a process of exploring, revealing, recognizing, understanding, and enhancing our divine nature, divine heritage, and divine destiny.
Basically, the difference between self-esteem and self-worth is based on our depth of understanding of our Heavenly Father’s plan of Happiness. It is more of a journey than a destination. As you seek to embrace these deeper concepts and achieve a greater understanding of who you really are, try to be patient in the process and relish every moment of greater insight and clearer vision. Celebrate each moment of clarity, and consider writing down thoughts and impressions that reinforce your understanding of your divine nature, divine heritage, and divine destiny.
President Russell M. Nelson, “Choices for Eternity,” Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults (May 15, 2022).
