AN INVITATION TO RETURN
by Dr. Debi Gilmore
No one is exempt from the challenges of growth and development as a human. At certain times in our lives, we face trials and hardship that appear without warning. We are struck with a sudden blow we never saw coming, regardless of our efforts to make good choices, or to be faithful and obedient. There is no quota nor limit to the severity or numbers of challenges we face at any point in time. Yes, sometimes it seems everything hits at once, it seems so unjust and unfair, and it feels like we are being punched while we are already down. It is in those moments of anguish and overwhelm that our faith can become fragile, weakened, and sometimes lost altogether.
With a special focus on faith and wavering testimony, I invite you to think about your own faith journey. We are all seeking to find a sense of acceptance and belonging, especially in our relationship to God, Our Heavenly Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ. Maybe you have felt a deep ache in your heart, wondering if God is even there. You might ask, “If He is there, does He hear my cries?”
Maybe you have longed to feel the comfort and reassurance you hear others speak of when they reach for spiritual healing. You hear talk of miracles, of remarkable healing, and the peace others feel from the Atonement. “What do they mean when they talk of the blessings of the Savior’s Atonement? How can I access that? Is it even real?” Maybe you have felt a haunting silence instead of the whisperings of the Spirit, and you question whether there really is a divine being that others say exists.
To quote Elder Mark S. Palmer, I want to echo his gentle invitation. He said, “My message today is especially to all who once felt the Spirit but question whether there is a way back or a place for you in the restored Church of Jesus Christ. It is also for any who are barely hanging on or who are tempted to step away. This message is not a challenge, and it is not a condemnation. It is an invitation, extended with love and a sincere desire to welcome you back to your spiritual home.” (Palmer, 2025)
With a sincere and longing for you, who have a deep ache in your heart, I have prayed that you will feel the gentle whisperings of the Holy Ghost. I quote the Savior’s sweet plea: “Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you?” (3 Nephi 9:13)
To those overcome with grief, Jesus said: “I will ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs… that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions” (Mosiah 24:14). However, often the pain and heartache of weakened faith clouds our ability to believe we matter and that Jesus cares about our pain. We might slip into a complete inability to believe in deity altogether.
As I think of the difficult journey of so many of my clients who seek my help with their mental health and well-being, I have a very special place in my heart for those who have left the Church of Jesus Christ for a wide variety of reasons. The reasons are vast and cannot be contained in one category. I see the anguish on their faces, or the expression of anger or frustration, confusion and loss. My heart aches with them, and I am filled with a deepened love and compassion for their struggle to compensate for the painful feelings that accompany their decision to leave activity in the Church.
I am reminded of the beloved Banyan Tree in Lahaina, Maui. When it was planted in 1873, the banyan tree measured only eight feet tall. Over the next 150 years, it grew to become the largest banyan tree in the United States. It had grown to more than 60 feet, and its many trunks spread out across two-thirds of an acre, filling an entire city block.
The banyan tree’s unique arial roots grow down from the branches, enter the ground and thicken into new trunks. The Lahaina banyan tree has 17 trunks, that appear to be a forest of multiple trees. In actuality, the 17 trunks are composed of one giant tree.
Our family has visited the beautiful banyan tree in Lahaina town for many decades. From our children’s earliest memories, they strolled along the base of the tree, enjoying the shade provided by the wide expanse of the branches and leaves. As we know, the earth and all things growing therein are alive and blessed with a spirit. The banyan tree exudes a powerful spirit of love enveloping those who enter the grounds with a memorable gift of welcoming aloha. It is a gift tourists and returning visitors do not forget.
On August 8, 2023, tragedy struck the beloved Lahaina town. Fire broke out and quickly consumed the entire city. Within hours, 102 lives were lost, 2200 homes were destroyed, and Lahaina 1st ward was dissolved due to members having to leave the area to find new homes. Millions of people witnessed the loss of this beautiful place, and it became apparent that the love for, and loss of Lahaina town seriously impacted not only the local residents but all who had by tradition visited the remarkable place.
The banyan tree was still standing following the fire, but it had been badly charred. What was once a glorious, lush, green monument to the city was now charcoal and seemingly destroyed. Arborists examined the tree and hesitantly concluded that the tree might recover, though the odds were uncertain.
In order to proceed with diagnoses and plans for recovery, they had to prune away 2/3 of the charred and blackened branches. One arborist said, “Let’s put it this way: It’s up to the tree. The tree is either going to respond or its going to say it’s time to go.”
A team of arborists, landscapers, and volunteers assembled to execute a specific plan. They were instructed to administer 5,000 to 10,000 gallons of water daily. They also created a Compost Tea made up of sea minerals, kelp, and worm castings. This was administered to the tree every day, week after week without any idea if the tree would even respond.
One arborist explained, “The tree is in a sort of coma. It’s just like when you’re in a coma, they give you intravenous fluids (life support) and keep your vital signs going until they see a blink of your eye, or a flicker of a finger. So, we are doing the same thing with the tree. As long as we give it enough love, I think it’s going to be fine.”
In September, just one month following the tragic fire, someone noticed a budding of some leaves from one of the branches. It was a stunning miracle! Millions responded to social media posts with excitement and renewed hope for the tree. Over the next several weeks, the tree began to show further signs of life, with new leaves sprouting from all the remaining branches. Officials posted videos on social media showing small sections of green emerging amid charred bark and leaves.
On August 8th, 2025, just 2 years after the horrific loss of beloved Lahaina town, new pictures were posted showing the banyan tree had become more lush and full than it had ever been before. It was indeed a result of weeks and weeks, months and months of labors of love performed by experts and volunteers. Certainly the remote expressions of love and hope contributed to the efforts of all who longed for the tree to return to its full glory.
The story of the beloved Lahaina town banyan tree is filled with rich symbolism when considering the difficult journey of those who have lost their faith and subsequently found their way back to paths of safety and the embrace of the Lord. From the charred branches and leaves to the tender, loving care of the experts and volunteers, the process can assist us in recognizing the significance of the Savior’s invitation to trust His open arms and unceasing love.
Charred Leaves and Branches
When our faith becomes weakened, and we step away from the path of safety and activity in the Church, we tend to make choices that can harm us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The choices may be considered mistakes, or even grievous sin. The result of those choices can result in damage personally and relationally because our loved ones also experience the heartache of the loss and change. The charred leaves and branches represent the damaging result of sin and error, which often requires first, an awareness of the damage, and then the steps toward repentance.
Pruning of the Charred Leaves and Branches
The arborists determined that 2/3 of the banyan tree needed to be cut and pruned. Significant damage was sustained by the tree, and those burned branches and leaves had to be discarded. However, the remaining branches and trunks were preserved and protected based on the hope that the tree would return to health and vitality. If they had left the burned and charred appendages to remain, it might have stifled the new growth and caused ultimate loss of the tree altogether.
When we begin the steps of repentance, we must leave the paths of destruction including behaviors that break commandments, betray covenants, harm relationships, and cause us to hide away from activity in the Church. Those habits and decisions must be conquered, and the pruning of those aspects of our lives are necessary in the healing process. This covers a multitude of behaviors, broken commandments, and principles of faithful living, and is customized for each individual on the path to return to Christ. Rather than listing specific behaviors or habits, it is best to leave the customized and personal list up to you.
Experts and Volunteers
The experts who examined the tree determined the best plan of action to offer the most hope for the tree’s survival. While they were less than optimistic, the arborists refused to give up on the tree. Instead, they put the tree in a sort of ICU environment, offering life support for an undetermined amount of time. The same applies to those who have strayed from their faith or activity in the Church. Their stepping away does not determine their worth. Regardless of actions or lack of faith, their worth is intact and is not lessened by their decision to step away.
In this sense, the expert would be the Savior, Jesus Christ who adheres to our Heavenly Father’s plan of Happiness. His plan includes repentance, forgiveness, and eternal hope. When a person leaves their faith and the encircling arms of the Savior, the Savior does not leave them. His outstretched arms include a pleading to gather and lean on Him. Every depiction of the Savior in the form of approved paintings distributed by the Church has been carefully, prayerfully considered. The intent is that the depictions of the Savior accurately convey His endless invitations, His fully outstretched arms, and His promise of healing.
The volunteers represent each of us, particularly in our efforts to minister to the sick, the lonely, the lost, and to offer hope and healing as an extension of the Savior’s loving reach. Each time we offer a hug of comfort, a glance, or a smile, a visit to the home of a suffering soul, we are offering the healing balm of love. In these moments of ministering, we are also bringing with us the power of the Holy Ghost, a constant companion who offers the ultimate comfort and confirmation of truth.
Compost Tea and Gallons of Water
The symbolism of the compost tea and daily doses of gallons of water represents the nourishment that comes from the gift of the Holy Ghost. The consistency of this offering brings the consistency of doses of the Spirit which is essential as a part of the healing process. This includes a confirmation of our Divine Identity, and each offering we can make toward those who have strayed is accompanied by the powers of heaven. This collaboration with the Spirit can bring miraculous and memorable moments in the interaction with those who’s faith has weakened.
New Sprouts and Budding Leaves
Just a month after the tragic fire that consumed the town of Lahaina and severely damaged the banyan tree, someone spotted a miraculous sign of life! A beautiful vibrant green sprout emerged from one of the charred branches near the trunk. The picture was posted on social media and thousands of people responded with joyful comments. This was the moment everyone had waited for, and the hours, days, and weeks of patient nurturing was rewarded with the spark of life.
When faith begins to return to the heart of a weakened soul, it might be experienced similarly as a spark of life, a quickening of the spirit, or a sensation of the awakening of something familiar. The new sprouting of faith is accompanied by hope and renewed energy. However, it is fragile and must be nurtured, protected, and carefully cultivated. The arborists knew they would need to nurture and monitor the banyan tree for years, clearing away any unhealthy sections and helping the new canopy to flourish. The same is required of new-found faith, as they may face negative forces that compromise the healing process.
The experts who care for the banyan tree have taken dozens of clippings from the tree, which are now growing in pots in nearby resort hotels. The receipt of these clippings were met with feelings of honor and deepest gratitude by the hotels and guests. The influence of the tree continues to spread and multiply as the clippings gain strength, and the roots spread and deepen in the soil. Similarly, those who experience a return of faith can cultivate and strengthen their faith by reaching out, connecting with, and serving others. The influence of budding faith can reciprocally inspire and quicken the faith in others.
Abundance of Lush Growth—Thicker and Healthier Than Ever Before
One of the most exciting aspects of the healing and recovery aspect of the banyan tree is that within just two years of the tragedy, the tree is more lush and thicker than it was before the fire occurred. The tree may have been cut back by 2/3, but the result is an impressive expanse of thick branches and rich dense foliage. The tree seems to be thriving, stronger, and majestic in it’s new presence.
Returning to faith cultivates and expansion of greater humility and reliance upon God. Perceived failure, emotional pain, or disillusionment can strip away the illusion of self-sufficiency or the option of relying on our own power. This insight leads to a deeper surrender and trust, knowing that strength includes calling upon the powers of heaven and pleading with God for help. Just like the lush foliage of the tree, a reawakening of faith opens our eyes to greater options, more possibilities, and hope to achieve greater dreams and visions for the future.
Gratitude is a natural companion of renewed faith. Having lost the connection with God once causes the returning soul to value the connection even more. Spiritual practices and connecting with ward family members brings more meaning and purpose into the lives of the soul that once was lost. Like muscles that grow stronger under resistance, faith tested by doubt and hardship often emerges more unshakable. Spiritual endurance is the result and greater compassion for others emerges with gentle force.
Deep and Expansive Root Structure
Those who have returned to activity and regained their faith frequently describe their experience as coming home after a long journey. It is as if they have found their landing place, their nest of safety, and their foundation upon which they can safely launch. They are the same person, but weathered, wiser, and often more deeply rooted. When someone returns to their faith, they experience greater strength and deeper trust in the Lord than they ever had before. Their perspective is hard-earned due to their life experiences without faith.
Like the deep and expansive roots of the banyan tree, faith tends to be an anchor, and something to fortify us when challenges hit. Whatever struggles and doubts they face going forward become reinforcing factors when they can see how faith sustains them from the fierce storms.
Additionally, their renewed faith is personal, with strong conviction, and not inherited or dictated by someone else. Often, our first experience with faith may have been influenced by family or culture. Returning to faith means they have exercised their agency and chosen faith. This makes belief and faith in God stronger and more resilient.
A Brief Word of Compassion
The banyan tree had no fault in the eruption of fire. It was a tragic event that almost destroyed the beautiful tree that for so many years, offered an umbrella of sweet refuge for many millions of visitors. Sometimes the “fire” that challenges a person’s faith comes from the human side of church life, imperfect humans trying to lead the Savior’s perfect Church, and the ongoing process of restoration. This process hasn’t always been handled perfectly. It is so important to acknowledge that reality and refrain from judging anyone for the resulting pain and confusion.
Sometimes people mistakenly assume that someone’s shifting faith must be due to sin, weakness, or even turning away from God and Christ. This judgment of someone’s journey is damaging and results in even further emotional pain, and lack of safety on the part of the person struggling. In truth, there are often other deeply valid reasons behind their faith journey. We would do well to commit ourselves to always recognize, understand, and validate the hurt, confusion, questioning, and pain that may arise from situations other than sin or a lack of belief, but rather from a sincere and faithful wrestle with the “gaps” that surface when difficult reconciliations are being faced and worked through.
Factors That Influence Returning to Faith
A fascinating study was done by the Wheatley Institute and (Cranney, Dyer, Hardy, Lambert, & Marks, 2024; Walch, 2024) found that while it may be assumed that religious affiliation is on the decline, in actuality a returning to faith is a significant trend. What is it that led those who had left the Church of Jesus Christ to return to their faith? Surprisingly, the reasons are simple and few: 1) God’s existence; 2) Talking with God; and 3) Knowing God loves all people.
God’s Existence I would like to invite you to image you are sitting with a dear friend or loved one who long ago, left the Church. They surprise you with a question for which you were not prepared. “How can I know there is a God?” How would you answer their sincere question? What gentle guidance would you give without overwhelming them with a preaching tone, or a judgmental response?
One participant in the study suggested they found God by sitting in a church service. While they had not attended for quite some time, they decided to give it a try and just attend a meeting. They said, “I think the thing that resolved my own faith crisis the most was doing the activities that led me to realize that I am truly loved.”
Other participants said they decided to avoid negative influences such as internet searches, groups focused on negative views of LDS Church policies and procedures, and historical write-ups that were confusing and sources that were questionable. They said they realized the information was not focused on God or Jesus Christ but instead was describing narratives from others who were in pain as well. They determined to simplify their quest and only focused on the one question, “Is there a God who really cares about me?”
Talking With God Now, try to imagine your friend or loved one asking, “How can I talk with God if I’m not sure He hears my prayers?” As you consider your own conversations with Heavenly Father, what helps you feel His presence in your life? What have you done to enhance your connection with God, the Savior, and the Holy Ghost?
President Russel M. Nelson offers a comforting reassurance that God does want us to find answers to our questions and peace in the journey. He asked, “How can we find answers to questions that perplex us?” He suggested that Joseph Smith’s experience in the grove demonstrates that the heavens are open and that God speaks to His children. He said,
Drawn to the promise of James that if we lack wisdom we may ask of God, the boy Joseph took his question directly to Heavenly Father. In like manner, what will your seeking open for you? What wisdom do you lack? What do you feel an urgent need to know or understand? Follow the example of the Prophet Joseph. Find a quiet place where you can regularly go. Humble yourself before God. Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.
Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen! Write the thoughts that come to your mind. Record your feelings and follow through with actions that you are prompted to take. As you repeat this process day after day, month after month, year after year, you will grow into the principle of revelation. (Nelson, 2018)
Most significant in our prophet’s instruction is to find a quiet place… ask… listen… write the impressions to come to you. This process will enable the Spirit to speak truth to your heart. Experiment on this process. We live in a very noisy, distracting world. This method will allow you to hear the whispers of the Spirit and will evoke feelings you may have longed for but could not seem to find until now.
God’s Love for All People The participants in the study learned or reaffirmed that God loves all people through deeply personal, relational experiences, and during moments of spiritual communication, reflection. It required them to intentionally seek for an awareness of the influence of God. They reported having surprising glimpses of reassurance that carried the sense of God’s unconditional love. These personal and sometimes emotional moments were what helped people return to faith, regardless of unresolved doubts or questions.
Some experienced merciful moments where they felt grace and forgiveness being offered when they didn’t feel worthy of it. One participant said, “I realized I was being harder on myself than God was. If He could forgive me, I needed to start forgiving myself and others too. It made me less judgmental and more compassionate toward others.” One participant described a moment when they met someone from another faith and felt the Spirit affirm, “They are God’s child too.”
Particularly impressive were moments where participants reported actively searching for God during hardship or doubt. Many said they found a powerful confirmation that His love was both personal and universal. The majority of those reporting this awareness of God’s love said they had an “experience of truth” and not just a logical, theological statement that God loves all people. It may be more accurate to explain their experience as a spiritual awakening and witness of God’s love. When the witness is manifest through the Spirit, the roots of their testimony are fortified even more.
Secondary Questions Vs. Primary Questions (Branches vs. Roots)
Researchers found that 80% of those who returned to their faith and activity in the LDS Church did not get the answers to their painful questions. These might be considered Secondary Questions (Branches and Leaves) Questions about policies and procedures, and not about doctrine. Their questions were varied and could not be contained into one category. Questions were theological concerns, historical issues about religion in general, or unresolved personal hurts connected to faith culture in communities.
Despite not getting full intellectual resolution to their concerns, they re-engaged in faith because they experienced a renewed relationship with God, and a deeper sense of being loved, both personally and universally. Most importantly, for many, spiritual connection outweighed complete uncertainty.
One of the study’s core conclusions is that returning to faith often happens without “closing the loop” on every question, and that connection, belonging, and a felt sense of God’s love were stronger motivators than having all doubts answered.
Primary Questions (Deeply Embedded Roots) Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge suggested that there are innumerable questions concerning our faith and faith in God. However, the primary questions that transcend or preempt all other questions are four in number:
1) Is there a God who is our Father?
2) Is Jesus Christ the Son of God, and Savior of the world?
3) Was Joseph Smith a prophet?
4) Is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the kingdom of God on the earth?
(Corbridge, 2019)
When the focus is directed toward these basic and fundamental questions, the distractions of the world, negative influences, and painful confusion can be replaced with a very personal and even sacred process. The secondary questions are concerns that tempt us to reach to the world for answers. The primary questions require reaching to God, the Savior, and the Holy Ghost who bears witness of truth through whisperings of the Spirit.
What Can We Do?
You might be feeling anguish and deepest concern for loved ones who have left the path of faith. You may have spent sleepless nights, and hours of wrestling about what you can do to support and love those who struggle. Researchers found that when resolution of a faith crisis came, they observed that it did not come all at once. The reported that, “It frequently came over a substantial period of time and often prompted a person to reestablish their communication and relationship with God through prayer.”
The key for us is to seek patience, offer loving acceptance, and pray that you will be blessed with an attitude of longsuffering.
Elder Mark Palmer said:
Some once had testimonies of the gospel that were strong and vibrant like the tree. Then, for uniquely personal reasons, those testimonies became weakened, leading to a loss of faith. Others hang on with the slimmest of roots tapping into gospel soil.
Yet, again and again, I am inspired by the stories of so many who have chosen to renew their discipleship and come back to their Church home. Rather than discarding their faith and belief like worthless firewood, instead they have responded to spiritual promptings and loving invitations to return. (Palmer, 2025)
Just as the arborists and volunteers who cared so deeply for the beloved Lahaina Town banyan tree, we too must commit to never giving up on those who have lost their faith. Instead of discarding them, and assuming there is no hope left for their return, we must consistently extend loving invitations to return to their spiritual home.
In Luke 15:32 we find a celebration of a soul who once was lost, but who came to himself, determined he was lost and needed to find his way back home. When the prodigal son returned, he was met with rejoicing. “It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.” When we exercise faith in the Lord’s timing, we can be assured that the ache in our hearts for loved ones who have struggled with their faith can be lifted by the power of the Atonement. With that same faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and acting on His plea that we “return unto Him” so that He may heal us, we can be assured that one day we will experience the joyous spiritual return of loved ones and friends.
References
Corbridge, Lawrence E. “Stand Forever.” BYU Speeches (Devotional), delivered January 22, 2019. Accessible via BYU Speeches website.
Cranney, S., Dyer, J., Hardy, S., Lambert, P., & Marks, L. (2024). The tides of religion: Leaving, staying, and returning to faith. Wheatley Institute, Brigham Young University. https://wheatley.byu.edu/tides
Nelson, R. M. (2018, April). Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives [General Conference address]. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Palmer, S. M. (2025, April). Return unto Me … That I May Heal You [General Conference address]. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Walch, T. (2024, November 26). In-depth: Religious disaffiliation isn’t the whole story, new BYU study shows. Deseret News. https://www.deseret.com/faith/2024/11/26/in-depth-religious-disaffiliation
