True Change Requires Decisive Action

Dr. Debi Gilmore, LMFT

There’s a saying: “You must act differently to feel differently.” 

This means that, in some cases, we need to change our behavior and ‘walk the walk’ until we feel differently deep in our soul. We must immerse ourselves in our new lifestyle to create newer, healthier habits. 

This is the best way to reject negative thoughts we have about ourselves, including the painful accusations of our Inner Critic. Our Inner Critic often gets our way when we try to feel worthy of love and belonging. Lasting change requires more than a behavioral shift; we also need to reject our negative beliefs the instant they pop into our head. We must muster up the determination to immediately replace those thoughts with positive statements about our true self.. 

The battle can be rough, at first. Our Inner Critic fires up its engine, protesting our attempts to reject its negative messaging. But we need to persist. Lasting change requires an emotional, mental, and spiritual awareness of our intrinsic worth. The only way to develop that is to claim those gifts, talents, and unique attributes which make us beautifully different from everyone else. 

I’m not surprised if you’re thinking, “That sounds great, but how do I make it happen?” 

This week, take this first step: 

• Try to recall something said about you that felt incredibly empowering. Think of a compliment that felt good to hear, that made you feel so happy.
  
  

• Then, think more deeply about it. Ponder: why did they say it about you? Could it be true? Of course it’s true–it felt so good just to hear it.
  
  

• Finally, take that praise into your heart and accept it. Embrace it. Practice it. Cultivate it so it becomes even more true of you.