God Isn’t Answering My Prayers
Dr. Debi Gilmore LMFT
Recently, one of my clients came in feeling despondent and frustrated. They had experienced a job loss 3 months ago and this was a large company they had been with for over 20 years. It was devastating news for them with a mortgage and 3 young children to support. My client told me they had prayed so hard to find a new position but there have been no job offers. At this point they were filled with dread, and filled with frustration. They said they believed there was no peace available to them, and that God may not even exist. My client said, “I really don’t believe my prayers are being heard. I feel like no one is listening… Is God really there? Does he really care about me?”
If this client’s situation is familiar to you, I want to acknowledge that this is so difficult and you are not alone in this experience. It is so hard to wake up each day in the painful experience of feeling so alone in such a shocking loss, with no resolution in sight.
Dealing with unanswered prayers can be really tough, especially when you’re longing for change, direction, or relief. It can make you feel ignored, forgotten, or even question your faith. Reaching out to someone for support and voicing your pain is a giant step toward peace. But here are a few ways to navigate this challenging and tumultuous period of your life:
1. Find a state of “Stillness” For me, being “still” means finding a place where all the distractions and noise of life are absent. Being still allows our mind and body to relax, slow down, and shift into a state of mindfulness that creates a space for the Spirit to work. So often, when I feel like I’m disconnected from the Spirit, I realize I am in “full speed ahead” mode that prevents me from receiving the promptings and impressions I so desperately need.
2. Reframe What “Unanswered” Means Maybe the prayer isn’t unanswered, but the answer is different than expected—maybe it’s “not yet” or “I have something better.” Sometimes, we only see the closed door, not the path being cleared elsewhere. Could it be that resolutions and answers are coming, but certain things you are not able to see have to happen first?
3. Look for Subtle Responses Not all answers come in a dramatic way. Sometimes they come through people, quiet moments, or even a shift in your heart. Have you noticed any small signs of peace, wisdom, or guidance in unexpected ways?
4. Keep Praying, Even When It Feels Pointless Keep talking to God, even if it feels like no one is listening. Express frustration if you need to. Some of the most honest prayers come from that place. Prayer isn’t just about getting what we want—it’s also about processing our painful feelings and staying connected. In fact, ask loved ones and trusted others to pray for you, or with you. Sometimes that increased force helps you feel less alone, and the encouragement of others can lift your spirits.
5. Trust the Bigger Picture It’s hard when we don’t understand why something isn’t happening. But often, when we look back, we realize certain prayers were answered in ways we didn’t expect—or we were protected from something we didn’t even know about.
6. Let Yourself Grieve and Be Honest It’s okay to feel hurt, confused, or even angry. God can handle it. Read Psalms—David poured out frustration, doubt, and even anger, and he was still called a man after God’s heart.
7. Lean Into Your Faith (Even When It’s Hard) When God feels silent, it’s easy to pull away. But that’s often the time to lean in—through scripture, community, journaling, or just sitting in stillness. Faith is a relationship, not just a transaction.
You are not alone in your longing for connection with God. Most everyone experiences a time in their life when they feel God is distant and unavailable. My hope for you is that you do not give up, and reach out for support from loved ones. Find moments of stillness, and your answers will come, tender mercies will appear, and this painful time in your life will be replaced with the marvels of miracles that are promised in God’s timing.
